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Talk:Ashley
If anyone could offer some criticism, I'd appreciate brutal honesty. Composite 4 The premise seems shaky on the basis that the community throws out the whole family for breaking the 1 child policy. Losing a productive family could be a real blow to any community. I think they should instead have insisted that the family got rid of Ashley and Taylor's temporary courage extended to defying them to the point where the town had to throw them out to make an example of them or something.--OvaltinePatrol 06:33, January 9, 2011 (UTC) The family is intentionally average; Taylor is a replaceable inventory keeper and Mayella a border guard of no exceptional skill, in my mind the reason the town kicked them out was to make an example of them. The reason they wouldn't have requested getting rid of the child is because the town's well adjustment makes them less savage so they wouldn't condone the endangering of child; at least if they kick them out they can pretend the child has a support system. Does that seem plausible or should I make the adjustments anyway? Composite 4 That makes sense. You did a good job of portraying Mayella as a monstrous bitch, I projected that onto their whole community.--OvaltinePatrol 06:56, January 9, 2011 (UTC) Whoops, I didn't elaborate on the town because I didn't want to go off on another tangent; I'll try to make the distinction ^.^ Composite 4 Your style is certainly a departure from the norm, but I'm not sure that's a bad thing. The guy's turning out to be a little creepy, and his life's pretty fucked up, so nice job on that end. I'm still a little weirded out by his name, since I don't typically associate that name with dudes, but that's really just personal preference. Nice job, on those accounts. --Twentyfists 04:21, January 10, 2011 (UTC) Yea, I had trouble as well when writing the pronouns as sometimes I would write her or she instead of he or him; I chose the name because there was nothing right about him, so his name is supposed to reflect it as well. Little question here, is the article interesting to read? Again, brutal honesty is appreciated; I want to write stories that people want to read. Composite 4 * Personally, I find myself to find the article is interesting to read, even if does make me both want to hug the poor kid and at the same time run to the bathroom to vomit because of James. I dunno, it's one of those stories in which I could see happening in the wasteland. I'm looking forward to more of it. Weston "Henchmen" Foster 20:55, January 10, 2011 (UTC) i really enjoyed the james character, he was a unique type of monster and im far more intrested in him more than ashley, but can you give james a last name? it just makes me think of james from fallout 3---Victor Hyde 21:20, January 15, 2011 (UTC) Isn't stating that he broke almost every bone in his body a bit exaggerated? As far i paid attention during biology lessons, breaking around 200 bones in your body after being blasted through a wall thanks to a gas explosion would mean instant death from the massive fysical trauma. Especially if he already was a walking corpse. No amount of luck could prevent that.---Seqeu0 19:26, January 20, 2011 (UTC) I would really like to clear out the list of Dead-End pages. Think you could set this character in an existing location, even if it's as broad as a state?--OvaltinePatrol 21:57, February 25, 2011 (UTC) I know this is ridiculously late but I was referring to his limbs Seq, not all the bones in his body o.o Composite 4 C4! Let's get cracking on this!--OvaltinePatrol 07:31, January 23, 2012 (UTC)